seastarved:

Flying In Circles (Just Trying To Land)

A little moment set in a time after Emma reveals her secret to Killian.

A/N: So many thanks to @starlessness for her superhero beta skills and talking me through the ending and to @mahstatins and @caprelloidea for listening to me ramble at them and being the most helpful, wonderful people ever. Love you guys ❤

rated T | words: ~2k | ffnet | ao3

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She is here again.

Staring at this ceiling again.

Round and round they go and she always seems to end up here.

Watching the lines that the light from the chandelier makes as it crosses over the raised moulding, watching the shadows of the curtains on her window warp, change and disappear as the sun sets, watching the unblemished expanse of white even as her heart lies paralysed in its own tangled strings.

At first it had been the nights when her body had felt heavy and yet sleep wouldn’t come, her heart tainted by a curse, her soul heavy from the hurt she knew she was causing. The bedroom had felt too large, too empty, too cold–without him, without his warmth– and she had instead taken to lying here on this couch, her body trying to imitate sleep even as her eyes mapped the lines and curves of the chandelier above her, swaying softly when a breeze blew in from her window.

Then, it had been the longest night of her life. Her fingers tracing the shape of the ring in her hands, her eyes dry and burning from the tears she had run out of, staring almost unblinkingly at the colours of the light upon her ceiling as they changed, as the night left and the sun arrived, as the world went on and her heart stayed broken. The weight of a curse lifted from her shoulders but replaced by something far worse.

Round and round they go and she always ends up here.

Tonight too, the chandelier is lit by moonlight, its lights turned off, swaying softly in the breeze from her open window as she lies on the couch. Her back is flat upon it, her jacket doing little to keep her warm but her body unwilling to move to do anything about it.

Round and round they go and she always end up here.

Facing death, facing heartbreak, facing something always.

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