🎵 songbird 🎵 + ✏️ pen pals ✏️

this-too-too-sullied-flesh:

omg “behind these hazel eyes” by kelly clarkson

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Dear Swan–

Your last letter left much to be desired. Tell me, what did you hope to accomplish in breaking this poor sailor’s heart? Details, Swan. I need details. What, exactly, were you wearing when “that rude jerk” spilled a beer on your head? What kind of beer? If it was American beer, I’ll risk going AWOL just to travel to the colonies and kick his arse for you, though I suspect you did your own kicking.

I’ll leave this letter short like your last. There, how do you like that? I need a nice, long letter in your chicken scratch for next time, then you’ll get one in kind. I think I’ve gotten far too used to your rambling and cannot possibly defend Mother England with any sort of true patriotism without your insipid American slang to keep me going.

-Your favorite seaman,
Lt. Killian Jones

Dear Swan–

Love, I hope I didn’t offend and I only ask that you belay my last. I was merely joking! I thought we’d written each other often enough that you’d understand my humor, but since it’s been months since I’ve received any word, I have to ask if my poor sense of what is both funny and acceptable has lost me a truly delightful friend such as you. 

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