bleebug:

rogers’ swan (AO3)

G, 1900 words

“Maybe he’s a bit mad, finding more pleasure in speaking to a bird than with people. It’s not as if she speaks back to him. But she doesn’t walk away and that’s better than he can say for most humans he’s known in his life.”

(a.k.a the fic i wrote as follow-up to this post… IT’D BE CUTE RIGHT? anyway this isn’t spec, just wishful thinking on my part to explain Emma’s absence in the S7 curse)

Officer Rogers considers himself a kind enough person. He may not be good at socializing, and he certainly has no idea how to act around women, but it’s not as if there’s much he can do about it. It’s just not who he is; though, oftentimes he has to wonder if his true self is resting somewhere deep inside, waiting for some grand change in circumstances that might awaken him.

It’s a foolish thought. He knows well enough it’s just because he doesn’t try hard enough to be normal, to fit in. At least, that’s what his father would say if he were still around. But he also knows that despite his awkward nature, it’s really no excuse for how often his coworkers seem to talk about him behind his back.

This was the fifth time that he could remember hearing them planning an after-work trip to the pub down the street in the past month.

“Don’t invite Rogers. He’ll just bring us all down.”

“Good idea. He’d just make a mess of things, clumsy bastard.”

“The guy doesn’t know the meaning of a good time.”

For whispering, they were all rather loud. He showed no outward signs he’d heard them, taking his outcast status with as much grace as he could. Suffice it to say, he’d never been invited. He’s certain he never will be.

But no matter, he forces himself to think. It’s not as if I’d enjoy their company, anyway.

Instead of lingering on the fantasy of what he’d do if he had been asked to join them ­– come out of his shell; be charming and sociable; make lifelong friends for his cheerful and upbeat attitude (what a joke) – he changes out of his poorly fitted uniform and into his jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie.

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