emmasinthebooknow:

“Hook, you can’t leave that as your outgoing voicemail.”

“Why not?” His tone is innocent. His smile is anything but.

“You’re supposed to just leave something that says your name and tells people to leave a message.”

“Everyone knows they’re supposed to leave a message. Is that not the entire purpose of the voicemail?” He grins even bigger.

This is too much. She takes the phone from him. “Then I’m – here, what’s your passcode?” The screen has blacked out and she can’t get back in.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, love. You made me choose a password in order to protect my phone from thieves and skulduggery, and I suspect you of intending to commit both.”

Emma groans.

“Oh, wait! Do that again, I’ll make that my outgoing message!”

*

That afternoon, she calls him to invite him to dinner at the Charmings’ and he doesn’t pick up his phone. She suspects he is doing this on purpose, just so she will have to listen to it.

His voice begins, crackly in the recording. “So, ah, is the communication device with the Emma button, and-”

“It’s called a phone,” her own recorded voice interrupts.

“Yours is called a phone. Mine is called the device with the Emma button.”

“But not on your voicemail.”

“Very well. What should it say, Swan?”

“Something like, ‘Hi, this is the phone of Captain Hook, I’m currently occupied with chasing these bloody annoying magical villains around Storybrooke so please leave a message at the beep.’”

“I could also be occupied with spending time with you. I wouldn’t dream of answering my phone then.”

“No one else knows your number except me.”

“What about the villains and skulduggerers who you claim are after my phone?”

“Yes, I’m sure the villains and skulduggerers will politely wait if they know it’s because we’re together.”

“I most certainly will make them!”

“Fine, fine, add it.”

“I believe I just did.”

“What? Hook!”

BEEEP.

She smiles. She’ll never admit it to him, but it’s actually perfect.