bleebug:

“Are you guys seriously slow dancing in the kitchen at 7 am? It’s too early for this…”

“Ugh, please, stop. I can’t hear the movie over your loud face-eating.”

“Yeah, I know, they’re so gross and mushy, all making eyes and stuff even though they’ve been married for years. Do yours do that too or is it just mine?”

“I love you guys but seriously, I can hear you kissing and giggling through the walls, so like… don’t.”

“Dad, I know you have one hand, but you are perfectly capable of feeding yourself. Mom, sit in your chair, not his lap. If I can’t have my phone out while we’re eating, then you have gotta behave.”

“Yes, god, I know, I’ve heard your foofy love story like a gazillion times. Congratulations on the true love.”

“If I start smoochin all the kids in school, it’s your fault. You’re gonna turn me into a mushy romantic and you’ll have no room to complain.”

“I did not need to see that I did not need to see that. Can’t even leave you guys alone for ten freaking minutes…”

– things the CS kid says